Friday, October 16, 2009


Dear Friends,
I will return to my Wednesday and Saturday posting schedule tomorrow, with a post on the incredible changes that have happened in my life in the last week. In the meantime, here's a bit of my life for me to think about....

Music is my native tongue, so to speak. I think in lyric lines, hear music in my head, harmonize constantly with almost anything I'm listening to. I honestly can't imagine it any other way. So, when my favorite band, Third Day, decided to return to the North Carolina State Fair, you know I had to get a ticket, right? I was online the minute the tickets went on sale, and managed to snag a third row, center seat. Wonderful! I could hardly wait to see them again!

In the meantime, life went on. My semester started going full-speed ahead, and I became overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things I had to deal with. Between the classes, church, and my music, there were days that I felt like I could barely keep my head above water. Some days were better than others, but some days I felt like going back to bed and pulling the covers over my head.

I know, I chose to do this. The path I'm called to is going to require this of me, this and sometimes even more. Knowing this didn't make me feel any less worried, however. And for the last couple of weeks, I felt like I was carrying more and more each day. I slipped into my old habit of obsessing over whether I really knew what I was doing. Did God really ask this of me, or was I just imagining it all? I had to know, somehow, whether this was for real.

So, forward to tonight, Dorton Arena, and five thousand fellow Third Day fans. I was sitting there, wishing I had a clue why I felt so lonely and tired, wondering if I had made a mistake coming there by myself. Surrounded by happy couples, families and groups, I felt tremendously alone. But I decided that, even though I was feeling down, I really wanted to hear Mac Powell sing, and I settled in for the beginning of the concert.

And God reached down, for a moment, to touch me.

I was drawn in, and started to sing along with Mac. Old favorites, like "Love Song", and "Blackbird". Worship songs, like "King of Glory" and "God of Wonders". I had finally relaxed, felt peaceful for the first time in days. I had my head thrown back, and was weaving harmony in with Mac's melody line as the lyrics touched my heart:

It’s been so long since you felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know there’s a place where you belong
Here in my arms

When you feel like you’re alone in your sadness
And it seems like no one in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call my name and I’ll be there
You just call my name and I’ll be there....

I was crying. But not from sorrow. From relief, from a feeling of peace I had really missed.

My life has led me down the road that’s so uncertain
Now I am left alone and I am broken
Trying to find my way
Trying to find the faith that’s gone

This time I know that you are holding all the answers
I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances
On roads that never seem
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation
Show me what to do
‘Cause I’ve been trying to find my way
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without you
I’ve got nothing without you

Once again, I'm reminded of all the things I've spent the last few years learning: how much I'm loved, that I am called for a purpose, and that He'll give me what I need to keep moving forward, one step at a time. I can't see into my future, I don't know what I'll be doing next year, next week, or even tomorrow, but it's alright. He knows, and I'm walking with Him.

Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without you.

Your (step by step) sis,



  1. Cool. I'm so glad you were refreshed and that Jesus simply met you where you were. He has a way of doing that and it's a wonderful feeling. I prayed for you today and hope you sense clarification and satisfaction in your calling.

  2. Thanks, Melody. It's been rough lately, and being a full time student and doing everything else means being in a constant state of tired and busy. But God is good, and so are my friends. :o)